life

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Desire

So, the marvelous emotion of desire. We desire things that vary from sleep or food to the unattainable world peace and even expand it to desiring to acquire the acceptance of other people in our societies.

In my religion class today we disucssed Song of Songs, which is basically set around desire and love. It got me thinking about what causes one to desire something or somebody else. Would we have the same desires if we did not know the object in the first place? Personally, I don't believe that desires can exist without the knowledge of the lack of whatever is being desired. A good example of this is children and their desires to have certain toys. A child does not realize that it wants a toy until another child starts playing with it, as we have all noticed while babysitting. You find a cool toy to mess around with while this little kid plays with his or her toy, but then he or she sees you playing with this new toy, and desires to play with the same thing you are playing with, and tries to take it from you. That is annoying, but its part of life and we all do it.

So the basic necessity in a desire is lack.

So why, then, when we get what we desire and no long lack what has been desired, do we want more and desire for more than we have? Will we ever be content? Personally, I do not think it is possible for a person to be completley content with life in any way shape or form. Judging by personal experience, it is impossible for one to achieve what is desired and stop entirely.

As well as the desire for a toy, we have the desires for an activity that makes us happy. For me, the most obvious desire is playing violin. The question that I arise for myself in this situation is timing. Why do I get the urge to play violin in the middle of the night rather than during the day when I have time? This time of year, it is easy to say that spring keeps me outside instead of allowing me to desire playing violin. Being outside in nature and smelling the wonderful sounds makes me more happy than playing violin sometimes in the spirng, because I have been stuck in winterness for so long. (excuse the stupidity of these past statemetns.. im rather tired)

So besides this ... yeah its a different day, and I dont really remember what I said about desire before, so im going to say this.

Desire is exactly the want for something we dont ahve, regardless if it is attainable or not. The only reason we desire things is because we see them and are unable to have them at that instant. Why do we want these things we cant have? Basically it's becuase we think for some reason that by attaining them we will improve seomthing about ourselves, whether it be happiness, healthiness, self worth, or whatever. Many times, by desiring things we make up what we think we might acquire if we were to have what we desire. Sometimes, when that happens, we are lying to ourselves, and we really have no idea whatsoever what the outcome will be, but we desire the given subject anyway. Why is that? I dont know. If I did, i woudlnt be writing this and challeging my brain about this stupid topic. I guess one thing that peeves me most about desires is how uncontrolable they are. Think of something you want, and explain why you want it, and when it started, and what you would acquire by having it, and then tell yourself to stop desiring it. Impossible. Almost all of those things are impossible. I guess, you can tell yourlsef why you want to do something, or have something, cause it will make you happy. Is that really something good? Can desires be bad? They certainly can be! Think of those messed up jackasses who have been thrown in jail fr murder or rape. They desire whatever the hell they have done, and that is absolutely in no way shape or form, a good desire.

So if there are good desires and bad desires, how are we supposed to know what is good and what is bad? We cant read into the future. Should we lead our lives based on our desires? I remember when we were all on the kick about leading your life the way you watned it and following your desires. I am rethinking this and have decided that that isnt really the way I want to lead my life. I need moderation with my desires. Control. Maybe its just me, but in thinking about it, we live our lives based on control, sadly enough. Actually, its not sad at all. Control is a very godo way of looking at it. The things I cant expalin and control are the things that frustrate me most about my life, but are also the things that intrigue me the most. Take stars for example. I cant explain why they are there, I cant control where they are, but they are some of the most marvelous things I have ever seen. An example ofr the other part of it is my random arm pain. I cant explain or contorl that, and it is one of the most frustrating things I have ever experienced.

Oh life, full of control, desire, and so much more. There is no way to comprehend it. Why do we keep trying? Why do we have the desire to understand our existance and purpose? I don't know, but I sure as hell keep doing it.

Long, random post, sorry!!

ps. some night, go out and look at the stars when there are 20935 different things you have to be doing, and then think abotu why you should do them. It might just change your outlook on life.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Hobbes vs. Locke

This is the easiest way to distribute this to some people who wanted to read it, and I dont want to e-mail it to them... So if you have time to spend reading it, go for it, if not, don't bother. Its only a paper I did for political theory, and I want to see what I could have changed had i had more time and more people to revise it for me!
The basis for most of today’s governmental and political structures and ways of thinking can be attributed to two major thinkers in the scope of Political Theory. Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679) and John Locke (1632-1704) were born and raised in England during the change from the Tudors to the Commonwealth and back to the Tudors. Both men, at some point in their life, fled England in order to avoid excessive conflict with the government. In their consecutive major works, both men discuss humans in the state of nature, the natural laws, social contracts, and formation of a government. Their individual thoughts on politics are varied due to the differences in some fundamental ideas about the four aforementioned themes. On the surface, these themes seem quite similar, but when looked into more deeply, their differing political ideas can be expressed.
"State of nature is a term in political philosophy used in social contract theories to describe the hypothetical condition of humanity before the state'sfoundation” (Wikipedia I). This was one of the prominent topics in Hobbes’ most famous work; Leviathan (1651). Hobbes’ view of humans in the state of nature is quite pessimistic when compared to other political thinkers, going as far as saying that life as a human is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short” (Hobbes 6). He believes that “every man is enemy to every man” (Hobbes 6), thus assuming that men are in a condition of constant war, which does not include physical fighting, but rather consists of the constant threat of another human. One of the reasons that this war is capable of existence comes from Hobbes’ idea of human equality in the state of nature. Though men may not be physically or mentally equal, each man alone has the ability to pose a threat towards another man, therefore allowing any man to hold power over others, catalyzing the state of war.
Locke contrasts these pessimistic ideas of the state of nature in his most famous major work; The Second Treatise of Government (1690). He believes that men are in “a state of perfect freedom to order their actions, and dispose of their possessions and persons, as they think fit, within the bounds of the law of nature, without asking leave, or depending upon the will of any other man” (Locke §4). He goes on to explain that even though men are in a state of liberty, they are not given free reign to destroy themselves or any other creature (Locke §6). Locke agrees with Hobbes when he states that all men are equal, but disagrees in the reasoning behind this statement. Hobbes believes that all men are equal and do not hurt one another for fear of loss and potentially death. On the contrary, Locke believes that men are created equal in the eyes of God, and are therefore required to follow the natural laws set by God.
These natural laws that Locke discusses can be described concisely by saying that a man is not allowed to harm any creature without just cause. Locke justifies the harm of an individual “may not, unless it be to do justice on an offender, take away, or impair the life, or what tends to the preservation of the life, the liberty, health, limb, or goods of another” (Locke §6). He defends the idea of equality later by saying that if one man is able to punish this way; all men are able to carry out such punishment (Locke §7).
Hobbes has a slightly different approach to the idea of natural laws. He implies that the first natural law is that everyone is entitled to everything, and when every man is against every other man “this also is consequent; that nothing can be unjust. The notions of right and wrong, justice and injustice, have there no place. Where there is no common power, there is no law; where no law, no injustice. Force and fraud are in war the two cardinal virtues” (Hobbes 6-7). His second natural law is typically associated with the gospel; “Whatsoever you require that others should do to you, that do ye to them. And that law of all men” (Hobbes 8). Hobbes is affirming his ideas about the state of nature when he expresses the natural laws. He is asserting that there are only two natural laws to bind us together and without the creation of a social contract to compel people to live in harmony, there is a complete state of war.
A social contract is “an implicit agreement within a state regarding the rights and responsibilities of the state and its citizens, or more generally a similar concord between a group and its members, or between individuals” (Wikipedia II). Today’s governments follow this type of social contract, and it is generally known that the reason we have governments is to maintain security within a group of people. Locke would agree with this assumption, and further explain it by saying that people consent to a social contract to “unite into a community for their comfortable, safe, and peaceable living amongst another” (Locke §95). He goes on to illustrate that “when any number of men have, by the consent of every individual, made a community, they have thereby made that community one body, with a power to act as one body, which is only by the will and determination of the majority” (Locke §96). By declaring this, he is implying that every man in the society must give up some, but not all personal liberty in order to attain security. In the explanation of the state of nature, it is expressed that man has certain limitations on his liberty, which have been discussed above. By instituting a social contract, a person’s liberties are naturally diminished, and the main goal is not only preservation of the self, but preservation of mankind (Locke §7).
The reasoning behind Locke’s desire to instate a social contract lies in the protection of property. In the state of nature, people are allowed to punish an offender if a personal offense has been done to any part of a person’s property, and Locke maintains throughout the Second Treatise of Government that the reason for having a social contract is to keep order and have a judge to watch over citizens of the society so that each citizen does not have to take on the responsibilities himself. The idea of property is extended past the mere concept of material possessions to the broader scope of the self.
Hobbes takes a different approach by saying that social contracts are initiated out of fear of other humans. By giving up all liberties, one is guaranteed security from the sovereign. In order to get this sovereign into power, the entire society must unanimously renounce their liberties, for if one does not, the entire will be unable to function in the desired manner. If one man among a group has the liberties to take punishment and other matters into his own hands, the entire group has the potential to fall and the power of the sovereign will be limited. He asserts that the only way to have a government in which there is no confusion, one must rule and have complete control over all judiciary decisions. Later in Leviathan, Hobbes writes about how any limitation on this sovereign power will cause the sovereign to fall and will lead humans back into the state of nature, and the process of constructing a new social contract and government must begin again.
While Hobbes trusts that a single all-powerful ruler is the only way of attaining a functional government, Locke states the opposite, saying that “it is evident, that absolute monarchy, which by some men is counted the only government in the world, is indeed inconsistent with civil society, and so can be no form of civil-government at all” (Locke §90). By denouncing the validity of a single all-powerful sovereign, Locke is further asserting that a social contract is preserving men as a society, rather than men individually. The formation of any government is not simply based on the act of renouncing all rights, like Hobbes, but is rather decided by what the majority deems right after a social contract has been initiated. These governments may become corrupt and act outside of his natural law at any time, and if the majority feels that it is right, the government may be changed.
“The first and fundamental natural law, which is to govern even the legislative itself, is the preservation of the society, and… every person in it” (Locke §134). The legislative branch of Locke’s government makes the laws, but is not entitled to function outside of the natural law, which is “unwritten and so no where to be found but in the minds of men” (Locke §136). This brings up the question of what exactly is to be done when the governing body begins to act outside of this natural law. Because people initiated the construction of this government, they have the ability, and even the obligation to alter the basic foundation of the government until it reaches a desirable and mixed form of government. Whichever government a society decides to use, there are three branches that must be existent; the legislative, as discussed above, the executive and the federative (Locke §134-135). These three branches of the government work together and act as tools of subordination upon the other branches. This places less responsibility in the hands of the members, which helps to preserve the societal government without becoming corrupt. These two men both articulate and convincing in their arguments about the state of nature and the way in which societies and governments are created, are the predecessors to modern ways of thinking about each issue. Both speak of equality and liberty as being intrinsic parts of human nature, which is something that most modern societies build off of. Their influences reach deep into the heart of modern societies, including the United States. The Constitution of the United States is very closely related to a Lockeian perspective of how a government should be run, and the main virtues that are held by men in the United States include those of liberty and equality. The United States has adopted the governmental system that Locke assumes works best, as well as the system of naturalization and other forms of assuming ones self into the government. Hobbes has also been a major influence in political systems. Though the ideas of equality and liberty seem to be hindered in the Lockeian perspective, many dictators and tyrants adopt the Hobbsian perspective that one sovereign power must rule and enforce his will and his truths about what the natural law includes. By studying the earliest “modern liberal thinkers,” we can see where our ideas about liberty and equality originated, and can get a well rounded perspective about where the governmental systems that are in power today began.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Kitties

So, I definately miss my kitties right now. I didn't realize that one could become attatched to something that quickly. I have only lived with them for 2 or 3 weeks total, but I feel as if they are a huge part of my life that has been taken away from me!

What causes this emotion to happen? Why do we miss things? What, exactly, is this emotion? Is it based on a sort of love? I don't know, and I thought of that while at work at 9:45 in the morning! AAh! I would say that I love my kitties, very much, but that is not what makes me miss them. I also would say that I love Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet, but I do not miss it. So it is not love that creates this emotion. I suppose one could say that living without something would make you miss it, but again, that is not true. I live without the constant annoyance of some people in high school, but I really do not miss that.

So, I guess I could say that I miss things becuase I love them, and am without them. That still doesn't work! I suppose its a certain type of love, not just love in general, but the topic of love is a whole nother topic (I hate the phrase a whole nother. It is one of the most nonsensical things I have ever said).

Things I miss right now:
My Kitties
My Bed
Certain People from Home
Parents
Carolin and Brad
Chanty and Lacey
Carol, Peggy, and my Grandparents
Grammy
The Simplicity of Childhood
Playing Good Russian Music
Not being Confused about various things
Spring/Summer/Fall
Security
much much more...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Life

So, life?

We have already talked about how happiness is why we continue living, in some strange obscure way right?

Well this was supposed to come shortly after the post about death, but I got slightly busy, so its not coming until now, which is 11:50 on March 12th.

Life, if you think about it, is truely amazing. I mean, we exist! The plants in Zachary's room exist. My gosh darn kitties exist!! How amazing is that?! It is unbelieveable how everything just works together to create life.

Anywya, the real part of life i was going to talk about was not the actual act of being alive, but rather what you do with your life. Lately, I have started taking different views on things, and its really hard to act on them, and I've been failing at it pretty miserably, but I've been trying. I have started to see how much you miss out when you don't act on your impulses. Take practicing for example. I get the desire to practice at such strange times, and I rarely do it at those times. I have so much other stuff to do, but the desire to practice makes me unable to do well at anything, besides practicing. When I do follow those urges to practice, I have amazing practice sessions, and get so much more accomplished. Another example; socializing. I have realized how much I dislike it when there is something that I feel that I really really want to do, and I end up staying away from it to do homework. I dont do my homework well, and I end up regretting my decision. There is always time to sight-read. I cant imagine my life without sight-reading on a regular basis. It is my relaxation and also, some social time! Yay.

Now that that was confusing and totally off topic, I will bring up another point, that is slightly related. Ok, so... not regretting things, and doing things that you know you would regret not doing later. That is the only way to actually enjoy life! You cant allow yourself to regret decisions you make. Eveything you do is done for a reason, and even thought aht reason might be awkward, or weird, or painful, or happy, or any other emotion known to man, it was done for a reason, which makes it something important, and should not be regretted. If you go through life regretting things that you do on a regular basis, are you going to be happy? I dont think so. Maybe you will, but honestly, regret is one of the worst feelings out there, and feeling it definately does not make me happy. I guess I dont know about you, but really, regret is horible. Sometimes its good to feel it when something you do shouldnt have been done, but, if you dont do whatever was regrettable, you wont have that problem. Anyway, moving along quickly.. you need to take time to do the things that you want to do. Relaxation, which usually accompanies the things I am implying is one of the most important things to mental health. Trust me, I know this.

I am actually doing this right now. I should be doing homework and practicing piano for my class tomorrow, but I am taking time to do something that I want to do, which is writing in this random thing. Sorry this post is so random, and that i have used the word random about 2523 times.

Live life doing what you want. If it is music, devote yourself completely, it is an amazing feeling. If it is eomthing else, do the same, becuase I am sure that it is just as amazing. Life life to the fullest, and dont regret anything. I know it sounds soooo cliche, but honestly, life would be so much better if people would take chances and live life day by day and stuff.

This isnt making sense, and I will most likely re-post this after some revisions later, but now, i sleep, because its what i feel is necessary!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Feelings

Do you ever wonder why we have feelings?

To quote Team America "feelings are feelings becuase we can't control them."

I don't agree completely, or at all in fact. I believe there is modulation in your feeling to some extent. Granted, one cannot completely control them, but it is possible to keep them to yourself enough to hinder their existance slightly.

I believe that, but it never seems to work. I still feel anger, love, fear, jealousy and the like towards people.

If only it would make sense.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Death?

Death.

Why do we fear it?

Friday, March 03, 2006

Friends

I love my friends. Every last one of you are amazing and I could not imagine my life without you! Being sick gives me a lot of time to think about random things, and generally when I do think, the thought process is obscure and twisted and usually takes me down roads that lead to strange situations when I allow myself to travel them. I think this is caused by the cold meds, but lets move away from that, and talk about friends.

I am so blessed to have the friends that I have! What causes me to get along with them so well? Coming to St. Olaf, I was scared that I would have no friends and that I would be the kid who ate lunch by herself and everyone felt bad for because she had no friends, and I guess, that is somewhat of a logical fear. Humans tend to be social creatures, so it is completely normal to want to be around people have have friends. I got here and made a few friends the first few weeks, but nobody really stuck out to me as being the type of person I wanted to get to know better and become closer to. Eventually I found some people, and they have become my friends. Now, I have to wonder, why did I chose them?

It is entirely possible that I chose these people because they are of the same major as me. It could be that we are in orchestra together. I don't know the exact reason, and frankly, I don't think I want to know. I know for a fact that Angie and I have very little in common, yet she is an amazing best friend. Are we best friends by defult because we have known eachother for so long? Are we best friends because we know eachother really well? It's neither of those. I have known plenty of people longer than Angie. Take that one girl that I knew in Kindergarden who moved to Blaine and stuff. Yeah, she's not my best friend. i also don't really know how well I know anyone, so that is never really a deciding factor. It is all relative to the person you are trying to know. Some people are easier to know than others, and that is totally normal. I believe that I am a fairly easy person to know and figure out. There are some people who are easy to know, but very very difficult to figure out until you spend a very large amount of time with them.

Back on topic, why do I have such a desire to have friends? I know I said before that humans are social, but honestly, there are people who go through life not having friends and lead amazing lives. Am I just unable to push down that desire for people? Does it make me weak? Does it make those people who don't have friends strong? I can't answer this, and I don't think an answer is necessary.

Friendship is so necessary in our lives. Without it, we would be totally screwed. Think about it! If you had no friends to be there when you needed them, what would you do? Rely on strangers? How reliable are they?

Oh, friends. I could go on for hours about why I love them so much, but I wont. Instead, I will find something else to fill my evening, which will most likely involve sleep.